Avoid raising a spoiled brat

When your kids talk back, forget to use their manners, refuse to listen, don’t pitch in, act out and act disrespectful— it takes the joy right out of parenting.

Not only are their unsavory behaviors frustrating in the moment, but as they continue, you probably worry about your ability to raise a kind, respectful adult.

Take heed. Experts say with some simple strategies, consistency and patience, you don’t have to raise bratty kids. Here’s how:

1.      Don’t make it easy.

“It is more difficult in many ways for this generation to raise a wonderful child than it is to raise a brat,” said Elaine Rose Glickman, author of “Your Kid’s a Brat and It’s All Your Fault.”

Parents in previous generations acted like parents: They expected obedience and respect and wanted to raise children who were resourceful and happy, “but they didn’t expect their children to be happy at every single moment,” she said.

If you’re always trying to make your child’s life easy by solving their problems, offering them every single opportunity, and being their full-time cheerleader, it’s more likely they’ll be spoiled.

2.      Set limits.
Most parents have no idea how to set limits, so they either don’t do it or only enforce those limits until they’re at the end of their rope, said Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist in New York City and author of “Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting.”

If you don’t set and stick to clear limits, your kids will push and push until they get their way. Realize that setting limits doesn’t have to be delivered as a harsh punishment, however, but in a firm, kind way that is still respectful of your child.

3.      Focus on what’s important.
Although you don’t want to set rigid expectations about everything, you should have rules about things that you consider non-negotiable.

So although it might annoy you that your child doesn’t put his socks in the hamper, treating others with respect is a must.

“Get clear about your values and act on those values and it will be easy to set limits,” Markham said.

4.      Acknowledge their feelings.
Everyone wants to feel that their feelings matter and kids are no different. When your children are upset and acting out, acknowledge how they feel so they know you’re listening and concerned, but make sure they know they can’t behave any way they want.

Your kids actually want you to set expectations and find comfort knowing that they’ll be enforced.

“It’s a form of love and it’s a form of care to assert our authority with our children,” Glickman said.